Many parents in HCM City are too busy with their work and are not spending enough time caring for their children, leading to unexpected consequences.
Many pupils have nothing to do after school time
Too busy
Parents claim they are so busy that they can’t pick up their children after school and instead force their children to do extra classes.
While other friends have relatives to pick their children up after school, Duc, a grade 9th student in District 5 often meets friends at cafes around his school. They have over an hour free before taking extra daily classes.
Duc said that he has had such schedule for two years as his parents are too busy with their work and often back home late. They don’t know how to manage him but find him extra classes.
However, not every student follows these schedules. They often go to internet cafes to play online games before going home at 9 or 10pm instead of attending classes when they feel bored.
“My family haven’t had a common meal for around a year,” a pupil named Hai shared.
A teacher from Tan Binh District said one of the girls in her class had seen her studies decline after she had begun hanging around with new friends, and had played truant more often.
The teacher intended to discuss the problem with the child’s parents, but the pupil was adamant that her parents couldn’t do anything about it, as they were too busy anyway.
Many parents absolve themselves from responsibility for their children
Financial offset
Due to the lack of time to care for their children, many parents are willing to spoil their children.
Some have found several high-cost extra classes for their children as a way to manage them.
“Many parents don’t have time to take care of their children and are afraid that they may play online games or engage in bad behaviour, so they don’t hesitate spending money on extra classes,” said Truong Thi My Dung, headmistress of Pham Ngoc Thach Primary School in Phu Nhuan District.
Meanwhile, other parents generously spend money on satisfying their children’s material demand, including high-cost extra classes, expensive clothes and toys. They are unaware that children need their care.
Nguyen Thanh Nhan, director of the Southern Young People Education Centre, said students face high pressure in terms of their studies and lives. Meanwhile, many parents think that lavishing money on their offspring is enough.
Bui Thi Kieu, a consultant at the Marie Curie High School, said the family has the greatest impact on juvenile lives, in addition to schools and friends.
Many consultants said that they don’t get enough co-operation from parents in supporting their children as they said they are too busy. They think that all the responsibility lies on the school.
Consequences
Due to the lack of parental care, many children have fallen into delinquent behaviour or feel lonely.
A father from Binh Thanh District is a company director and his family don’t have to worry about money. Being proud of having a beautiful wife and good and obedient son, he spends most of his time working to earn money to support his family.
He sent his only child to study at an international school and gave him money whenever he asked.
His child started to meet lazier friends since he moved to work abroad in Cambodia, leaving the child with his wife and a domestic help.
They were not aware of their child’s situation until he took a lot of money and went away from home with his friends. He spent most of the money on ecstasy.
Now his son leaves home more often and just comes back when he runs out of money.
He and his wife have tried everything they can think of to persuade and change his behaviour but have failed. The son even stole things from home for sale and threatened to commit suicide when his parents refuse to give him money.
The father admitted that he hardly talked with his son when he was working in Cambodia. He claims he would happily exchange all his money in return for his previously obedient son.
Due to the lack of parental care, many children feel lonely at home and even want to committee suicide.
A grade 8th student in Phu Nhuan District wrote in her diary that she has thought of committing suicide several times due to conflicts with her parents who she thought put too much pressure on her.
“My parents always want me to study as well as possible but they have never talked to me about my study and my school. I don’t want to go home after school time as I feel terribly bored and lonely,” she wrote.
“May parents are so busy that they often sent me to my aunt’s family in Singapore for English study every summer. I’ve followed my friends’ advice to cut my thigh with a knife to resist against the feeling of sadness, if not I may commit suicide. I do it very often so I have several scars on my body.”
Being too busy with their work, many parents let their children play computer games excessively. In order to get money for their games, several children are willing to steal, rob and even murder.
Attending a psychology consultancy programme recently held in District 1, Nguyen Thi Man from District 4 burst into tears when talking about her 13-year-old daughter who has been addicted to games and hasn’t studied properly for over a year.
As Man and her husband were busy with their food store all day, they often gave their daughter money for her online games to keep her quiet. The daughter became addicted to games six months after that and she would do nothing but stay up late and play games.
“We have applied several measures and sometimes scolded her but she won’t stop,” she said.
Psychologist Vo Thi Minh Hue said, “It often take a certain period of time for a child to become addicted to games. Unfortunately, many parents don’t realise their children’s situation early enough to take preventive measures.”
She noted that in order to help them to stop gaming, it would need great effort, care and patience. Many people find it hard, as it requires them to spend more time talking to and playing with their children.
Trung Vuong High School students attending a psychology counselling event
